More Calvinistic Humor

Which punchline to go with? The Mary/Martha thing? Or the male/female thing? So many possibilities …

(If you’re not familiar with the decretal order controversy, good. It’s so arcane and legalistic that it proves our cultural roots — our personality as a denomination — is found in our Calvinistic roots.*)

* No, I’m not inviting discussion of the merits of infralapsarianism vs. supralapsarianism. I’m falling asleep just typing the words.

Thanks to the Sacred Sandwich, proving that it’s possible be a Calvinist and have a sense of humor — rumors to the contrary notwithstanding.

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3 Responses

  1. I beleive that is one of the better Calvinist jokes I have read. but wait, here’s more:

    How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb? Answer: It was defective from the beginning and predestined to go out.

    How many Arminians does it take to change a light bulb?
    Answer: First the light bulb has to decide if it wants to change.

    How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
    Answer: None. They like living in darkness.

  2. Randall,

    Q. How many Church of Christ-ers does it take to change a light bulb?

    A. Pick one —

    1. Change??!!

    2. There were no light bulbs in the First Century. The early church used oil lamps, until the Great Apostasy introduced candles, followed by contemporary lighting, known as light bulbs.

    3. That’s what we pay the preacher for.

    4. Light bulbs go out but they usually come back on all by themselves. But they have to go forward if they do.

    5. Where’s the authority to change a light bulb??

    6. I’d change it, but the last time I did, someone said I was being disrespectful of the memory of the family that bought it, found the old bulb in the trash, and screwed it back in.

  3. Oh Jay, that’s just too funny! I am not sure whether to laugh out loud or cry.

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