Oh, man, have I ever!!

8 Responses

  1. Unfortunately I know an elder who like this. He just is not happy unless he can tear into someone for not accepting his opinion.

  2. I am my own worst enemy. When I need to be rebuked, I do it to myself.


  3. Then David, as a priest of Jesus, it is your responsibility to help him change. Go to him and him alone and talk to him about what you see. Let him know respectfully that you think he is hurting the lambs rather than shepherding them and helping them. If he doesn’t hear you, then find two or three other spirit-filled saints and all of you can sit down and talk about it together. You may be wrong and it MAY just be your opinion that he is harsh in which case you get an opportunity to be humble and learn. But by bringing in two or three others the way Jesus said to, then the matter can be resolved because JESUS is there in your midst. If the man is still defensive and refuses to change, then at the very least, he should not be an elder. And if someone truly will not repent and make substantial change, then they may not even be a Christian. But if you will LOVE him by using Jesus’ Matthew 18 tools, then you will summon up the courage to talk to him about it.

    There is no other kind of Christianity than this kind of mutual help and exhortation. (Heb. 3:13, Gal. 6:1-2)

    “And if your brother sins , go and reprove him in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax-gatherer. Truly I say to you, whatever you shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. For where two or three have gathered together in My name, there I am in their midst.

    I will pray that you have God’s words to speak to him.

  4. ” David Baker, on January 26th, 2010 at 4:52 am Said:

    Unfortunately I know an elder who like this. He just is not happy unless he can tear into someone for not accepting his opinion. ”

    It sounds to me that maybe this elder may be part of an unhealthy NON-spirit-filled church ? A “Church” built on the opinions and traditions of men quickly drives away, quenches, and grieves the Holy Spirit. For your own spiritual survival, you may want to seek out a new congregation to fellowship with…

    I had to do this because of a similar atmosphere, and found another congregation that IS spirit-filled and yet still says “church of christ” on the sign.

    Hopefully I’m wrong and this elder just needs someone to speak to him…

  5. It is interesting to me that everyone talks about their church family and yet do bizarre things like LEAVE when things aren’t to their liking, or HIRE a preacher to come in.

    In Corinth, brothers and sisters didn’t leave when problems arose. You never ever see this hiring/firing model so prevalent today… As if a true family could just hire a new uncle or sister. In a true growing church family, gifts of teaching rise up from the midst of that family relationship. If you want to help that person or family be more free to teach and to serve with the word, then let each person who benefits share of their material means to facilitate that. But salaries….??? Paul or Peter taking a salary? Hmmm.

  6. Point of clarification. I simply said that I know an elder like this. Please do not assume he is in the congregation I serve, for he is not.

    He does need spiritual guidance, and some are trying. But remember the old adage: A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still. Perhaps more fervent prayer would more helpful. Prayer for an open mind and heart as well as prayer for wisdom by those working with him.

    For Pilgrim: sadly, sometimes we must dust the dirt off our sandles.

  7. Indeed. Leaving sometimes is the only alternative. My point is that for many, their REAL relationship with other saints only goes as deep their own comfort level. And if they are uncomfortable, they leave. Or if they get a job transfer, they leave. Or if the singing is more exciting down the street, they leave. Family should mean family, but unfortunately it is more of an institution in most places, and that isn’t what Jesus died to give us. 100 mothers, brothers, sisters, children…. that is the inheritance for all willing to give up their lives and preferences for the kingdom.

    Mark 10:29
    “I tell you the truth,” Jesus replied, “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much IN THIS PRESENT AGE (homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—and with them, persecutions) and in the age to come, eternal life.

    That promise of the Son of God isn’t quoted much, but it is true and finds its fulfillment in a daily relational expression of Church rather than Sunday/Wednesday/Small Group attendance based paradigm.

  8. David, also a friendly reminder. You said:
    “But remember the old adage: A person convinced against their will is of the same opinion still.”

    Remember that if sin (and lack of love is a sin) is involved, Matt. 18 and 1 Cor 5 does not leave the old adage as an option. If those involved in trying to help are not satisfied with the change, they must press the issue for the sake of an unleavened church.

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